eapanviolinist's Blog

I'm at a school where people sometimes couple up because there is nothing better to do.  It's a music school.  You:

Eat

Sleep

Practice

(Hook up)

When everybody is hooking up and getting into relationships, not only does it make me feel terrible and alone, but it limits the number of good (straight) guys out there.  The guys I've been interested in here have either been:

Not Interested-Just completely not interested in the slightest.  One even wasn't interested because I'm not Catholic.

Interested In Someone Else And Will Therefore Never Be Interested In Me

Taken

Most Likely Gay

I'm not all horny or anything to have a boyfriend, but I'm getting really impatient.  Everybody tells me about their hook ups and I'm insanely jealous.  I was supposed to watch a movie with a guy I've been really talking to for about a week now tonight or tomorrow night.  He never responded and instead decided to watch all the Star Wars movies with some other girl...who has a boyfriend.  Nothing makes sense anymore.  I will forever be a spinster. 

 First of all, in case anyone is reading this, I'm a bit of a blog virgin.  I'd tried it on myspace and other various sites, but I hated hearing people say how annoyed they were that everyone was posting their feelings for all of their friends to see.  Here, nobody knows who I am.  I'm usually pretty good with putting how I feel into writing because I have time to word it, whereas when we speak, we have to get it right the first time on the spot.  So, here goes...

I am eighteen years old, I'm in my first year of college, and I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never been on a date, nada, zip, zilch.  I watch people couple up all around me and I'm always surprised.  I find it strange that two people can have feelings for each other at the same time and both act upon those feelings.  I never know how to get things moving along with a guy, so if there is any spark, it fizzles with time.  I am too afraid of being rejected again.